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Date: Fri, 23 Jan 1998 22:04:23 -0800
To: kelliecaruso1@yahoo.com
From: Anonymous
Subject: One Mother's True San Quentin Story
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I had a rather bad experience in going to see my son today at San Quentin. It was pouring rain and you have to walk down this long sidewalk (I call it a plank). Since it was pouring rain, I was holding a cover over my head, and walking rather fast - mind you - not running - just walking very fast and jumping over puddles - and I heard this voice say, "Lady! Come back!" which I ignored thinking he couldn't be calling to me! Then I heard it again, "Lady, I said you!" So I turned around and looked at this guard and said, "Are you talking to me?" He said, "Come over here" so I did go back. It was quite a long way back, especially in the rain! He said to me, "Didn't they tell you inside not to run?" I said, "No they didn't but I did read it in red on the sidewalk." He said, "Do you like visiting here?" I said, "Not really, but I do enjoy seeing my son." He said, "The only people who run here are the inmates! Do you know what they think when you have that cover over your head and you are running?" I said, "I guess they think I am an inmate!" He said, "No! But they will terminate your visits here. Do you want that?" I said, "No." He then told me if he ever caught me running again my visits would be terminated. I said to him, "But I will never do that again!"
When I finally got to see my son, I told him I felt I knew what he was going through and told him my story. He then told me, "That is what happens to all of us every single moment of every single day." I then told him that he is dealing with it all very well and he has to keep doing that because he doesn't have any choice, he can't change anything there, and that he just has to get through it without any trouble because it would only hurt HIM and to count his days! He agreed! And that's life in San Quentin! My son says it is the worse prison around but he stayed there so he could have visitors and because he knew I would care that I could visit him.....and......it's true! I will no matter HOW I am treated - just a 58-year old mother loving her son.....
When I was leaving my son, as I was walking down then plank (sidewalk) back to go home, I was sorta praying the guard would be there still. As I approached the area he was there, my prayers were answered, but his back was toward me. I kept praying he would turn around and he did. I looked at him and said, "Thank you for being so kind to me by letting me see my son" and I smiled at him. He smiled and said, "You're welcome". My tone was such that he believed me and I don't think I will ever have another problem with him but I will always walk SLOWLY in that area. I felt, though, very satisfied that I had snowed him into thinking I felt he was very kind, if you can possibly understand why I felt this. It may be difficult to understand why I felt that way - but - I did feel wonderfully good!
A Loving Innocent Mother
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